


Elapsing Time

by IsabelleLi



Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Body memory, Chaptered but not really, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fading memories, Gen, Grief/Mourning, I am such a liar everyone but Mikleo is only mentionned, Loss, Most precious person, Post-Canon, Time is cruel, Waiting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-28 09:59:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10090220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsabelleLi/pseuds/IsabelleLi
Summary: It takes time very little years before it starts feeding on memories.Mikleo is very young when he promises Sorey to keep the memories of the time they shared together safe.Far too young to realize...Time devours everything.Always.And, in the end, maybe this is the way things are meant to be.





	

It takes time very little years to start feeding on memories.  
The first time Mikleo realized this, he was walking in Pendrago, running an errand for Lailah, when he stumbled across a statue representing the former Shepherd Sorey.

The heart in his chest tightened and he took a moment to sit next to the statue and ease his breathing. The representations weren’t anything new. He came across a few of them on a regular basis in the major towns, even though it had been a mere five years since they defeated Heldalf, but the pain was still fresh and the art reminded him that he could no longer hope to get an answer if he were to poke his sides with his elbow and tease on how Sorey could now study himself. Thus, most of the time, he chose to quicken his pace to avoid loosing himself in the art and have all the feelings he carefully kept in check resurface in an unhealthy way.

Today, however, something had been bothering him. Something about him and Sorey felt distant, like the effects of time were already starting to make themselves known, and he felt like he needed to find a way to reconnect with the former Shepherd somehow. Besides, what kind of friend would that make him if he couldn’t even bear to look at his bestfriend’s face? Because of that, the water seraph had choose not to run away this time. Still, protecting himself was a way to respect Sorey’s wishes so he had been careful not to push himself too hard. He knew all too well that with Sorey gone since so little time and so many more years left to wait, he was walking on a tightrope and that made him vulnerable to malevolence. This was the reason why he took a moment to stay close to the statue, using himself to its presence and to the strong, intense feelings it brought back.

To ensure he didn’t dwell on dark thoughts, Mikleo took a glance at the pedestal on which the statue stood and let his attention fall on the memorial plaque.

_SHEPHERD SOREY_  
_A commemorative monument ordered by_  
_Sergei Strelka,Captain of the Platinum Knights_  
_and Ambassador of the Rolance Empire_

_As a formal apology in the name of the Platinum Knights_  
_for their unbecoming acts and those of the Church of Rolance_  
_during his Journey of Purification._

_To the Shepherd whose courage paved the way towards the Era of Peace_  
_May his bravery never be forgotten._

Unexpectanctly, a softened smile found his way to his lips after he read the plaque. The "unbecoming acts" it refered to had, indeed, had his blood boiling during their journey. Soon after they entered Pendrago, the Church dispatched a fake Shepherd, sending him throughout the Empire to claim his the accomplishments of Sorey and spread the word of his support to the Church of Rolance. The Knights had been forced to follow their lead and so, the recognition for everything Sorey did that could have earned him some respect in the Empire went to this impostor without anyone in Rolance even flinching. However, true to himself, Sergei, who had always despised the way the Knights were forced to react on those days, had taken upon him to correct the trickery started by the Church. Using his newfound influence as best as he could, he took all the measures he could think of to make sure Sorey was remembered the way he deserved to be and that people acknowledged the Church and the Knights’ terrible mistake.

And that, Mikleo found out, was enough. That was enough for him to forgive what he had once seen as a betrayal from the political instances of Rolance and to soothe the feeling of injustice that pursued him in Sorey’s stance. The water seraph stood there, tips of the finger on the plaque gently resting on the former Shepherd’s name. The soft smile his lips had traced was still there, thankful and reassured, proof that he felt lighter than he had for years now. The upper right corner of his mouth curled up, as if trying to turn the smile into a small grin, and he came to think that, maybe, his decision not to runaway hadn’t been such a bad one after all. It was nothing like relaxing next to Sorey with a book or debating over some archeological theories, but standing close to a statue of the brunette, physical, actual proof of others’ will to remember the ‘Purifying Shepherd’ felt right. With this, the Seraph knows he has finally taken a step forward, moving on fom his sorrowful mourning. Surprisingly, it helps.

Finally making peace with the historical representations of the former Shepherd also served to remind him that he, too, had a part to play in making sure that Sorey’s role was well-known. With that thought, the smile he wore slowly faded into a frown. Of course he did, he never needed a reminder for that, but it stood true that, maybe in the recent years, he did push aside his responsabilities in favor of mourning his now lost in time partner. The least he could do to make up for his foolishness was to stop fearing anything featuring the sleeping Shepherd this moment. How would Sorey have felt if he ever came to learn that Mikleo, of all people and seraphim, had once been unable to look at him – even if only artistic representations of him? The seraph shivered at that, a strong pang of guilt stabbing him. He was going to make up for it, though. He was going to make up for the time they lost when they weren’t working together to make their dream a reality because of his cowardice.

The staff wielder inhaled deeply, pressing his lips together. If he were to make up for the past five years, then the first step forward was to become able to face these representations of Sorey and see them as a gift, a proof that Sorey would not be forgotten by the time he woke up, rather than as a dreadful reminder of his loss. To do that, though, he had to face them first. He had to face them and accept their frightful meaning, the one in which they meant that, for now, Sorey’s presence and partnership was lost to him. The seraph closed his eyes and breathed again, a strange, but familiar coldness slowly crippling over his arms. It would take time and the artistic pieces were a litany of omens for how long Mikleo would have to wait until the brunette returned. Yet, they were also the anchor by which people would engrave the Purifying Shepherd’s name and deeds in collective memory. Doing his best to keep this small shard of light in mind, the water seraph took one last breath, bracing himself, before he finally looked up to meet the bronze Sorey’s gaze.

At first, his heart sank. Looking at the statue, he was overwhelmed with pride to see his precious partner make it into the History he liked so much. Nevertheless, deep down, seeing the former Shepherd in a physical form, even if only a representation, after 5 years of nothing but memories burned and hurt so much it consumed him. Blazing ache and agony suddenly ignited his shoulders, carving a devastating feeling of loss into his flesh, turning the seraph into nothing more than a pure wreck of pain. Dizzy with grief, Mikleo had to lean on the pedestal to steady himself. He tensed, uncertain after thoughts of corruption crossed his mind, but calmed down a moment later when he realized that he didn’t feel any guilt nor doubt and that he had no reason to. Sorey had been his most precious person, a lifetime partner he would have given his life and soul for, as well as the one person he had and would ever tell his true name out of pure, genuine trust. None of his feelings were wrong or unjustified.

Desirous to keep his vow of catching up to their lost time, the water seraph tried his best to make it past his feelings and looked at the statue from a more physical perspective. Faced with Sorey and the years-long wait to come, Mikleo couldn’t bring himself to smile this time, but he found himself quite pleased to notice how accurate the sculpture was. The shoulders were strong and large enough, his arms well-built, but not like a tank, and his features soft and kind, just like he remembered. His bangs were falling naturally to the right, similar to the water seraph’s, but the back of his hair was short and well-maintained in the same way Mikleo used to trim them. Even when he looked closer the height of his cheekbones felt right, the shape of his eyes was exactly as he remember, as well as the curve of his lips when his face showed determination. The artist did a very impressive job. Reassured, the seraph reached out to gently cup the cheek of the statue in his hand, distress from the memories still clear in his eyes, but now forced to share space with relief.

The feeling of his hand resting the cold bronze moved him to pause and open his eyes widely.

The statue portrayed Sorey exactly as the seraph remembered. The proportion were good, the features were accurate. Even the aura coming from the statue felt almost exactly the same as the former Shepherd. He sincerely thought the artist and Sergei, who probably supervised his work, did a very precise and resemblant job… but his hand told him it wasn’t the case. His body memory told him it wasn’t the case.

The cheekbones he thought so highly of were a bit too low and the way they blended with the rest of the visage wasn’t soft enough. The lips were too thin, the nose too perky. Some parts of the face like the curve of his chin were too chubby for Sorey’s well-defined features and looking at the sculpture with his hands, Mikleo realized it reminded him more of Sorey when he was a kid than when he was seventeen.

His heart was racing. He spent enough time reading about body memory to trust that it was probably more reliable than his mind. Now feeling the statue with his eyes closed, he could tell the mistakes were plenty, but each so small that it was easy to forgive Sergei and the artist. The one he had trouble forgiving, though, was himself.

It had been a mere five years. Less than a third of the time they spent together and they had _never_ went more than three days without seeing each other. He took pride in knowing Sorey better than anyone else, maybe even the resting Shepherd himself but this was probably mutual, and he even went as far as to promise that he would keep their memories safe until the brunette returned to reassure the other when he worried about forgetting Mikleo, should he be reborn as a seraph. Now, however, his throat went dry as he wondered for the very first time if he would truly be able to honor his promise.

Five years was such a short time and purifying the land would take much longer. He could easily have centuries to go by with only memories. The young water seraph shivered, a vague feeling of fear lurking under his skin. At this rate, how much of their time together was he going to lose before Sorey returned? What if it was due to his obstination not to face any historical representations of Sorey during so long? Maybe he accelerated the processus without knowing and then--

Stop.

The seraph opened his violet eyes, brushing away most of those negative scenarios by anchoring himself in reality. He had no way to tell if forgetting details of Sorey’s face within five years was normal or not. For all he knew, this could very well be the way things went under normal circumstances, and him not wanting to confront artistic representations because he wasn’t ready was not a sin. He knew seraphim could live for numerous centuries, easily reaching thousands of years if everything went well, but he _was_ clueless on how their memory worked. This was hardly the kind of conversation the seraphim in Elysia would hold in his and Sorey’s presence, Zaveid and Edna never really talked about Eizen and Lailah couldn’t evoke past Shepherds because of her oath.

Five years felt quick, but their elders kept telling Sorey and him about how time started to fly and flow differently as one grew up. Maybe he was only growing up and time began to feel like it ticked faster. Also, less than a few months ago, Alisha also confessed him that the more she trained with the Platinum Knights, the harder it became to remember some of the sequences Maltran taught her, even if her body was still familiar with them once she got the hang of it. Maybe it was normal not only for humans, but also for seraphim to start forgetting even precious recollection that quickly. He didn’t know and until he did, he should refrain from blaming himself for something that may very well be natural. After all, he wasn’t familiar with memory lapses and the way they worked for Elysia was quite an unchanging place and he had not been particularly focused on the human world over the last five years.

The water seraph let go of the statue, fingers brushing over the hand covered by the Shepherd’s glove as he left. His eyes turned to the Sparrowfeathers’ stand a few streets away.  
If he wanted to know, though, there was only one way to do so.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to keep the names and events as close to canon as I could, but it's been a while since I played. I couldn't even remember if the fake Shepherd was the Church or the Empire's doing. @_@
> 
> About the "Chaptered but not really" tag - This was supposed to be a drabble that turned into a one-shot which turned into a three-shots and now, I have no idea what this is going to be. I know where it ends as well as what happens, but I'm really not sure if this will turn into a serie of drabbles or a mix between short texts, drabbles and chapters. Probably the latter.
> 
> I hope you liked it and please don't hesitate to comment!


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